


Thunder Only Happens When It's Raining

by hinotoriii



Category: Mass Effect: Andromeda
Genre: Angst, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Pre-High Noon, post-Hunting The Archon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-18
Updated: 2017-05-18
Packaged: 2018-11-02 06:23:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,828
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10938819
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hinotoriii/pseuds/hinotoriii
Summary: Scott's method of dealing with what happened on the Archon's ship proves to be problematic, as it includesnotdealing with it. Instead he decides to avoid his crew in favour of drowning his sorrows at Kralla's Song; at least until a certain shady bastard finds him there.





	Thunder Only Happens When It's Raining

**Author's Note:**

> Reference of what Scott looks like can be found [here](https://pbs.twimg.com/media/C-wPd76XkAABsMt.jpg) (hi Vetra).

Kralla's Song is exactly as Scott remembers; rowdy and loud in a way which allows him to blend into the background by keeping to himself. He's not there to socialise, and has brought no members of his crew to join him for the evening. Rather he prefers the isolation for once, the rare opportunity it provides for him to wallow in his own feelings.

The drink Scott lifts to his lips tastes too warm and watered down to be classed as _good_ , but it suffices. He'd prefer something that has a little more kick; Scott _misses_ earth vodka something terrible right now, and for a brief moment his memory reflects back to the bottle of whiskey Reyes had managed to steal from under Sloane's nose. A glass of triple-distilled Mount Milgrom would be a blessing, the familiar burn of whiskey hitting the back of his throat a welcome distraction from his thoughts, yet instead it remains nothing more but an unattainable dream.  

He takes another long gulp from his glass as the sudden yet familiar reminder of the home that's long been left behind hits him, wincing slightly at the disappointing flavour he once again tastes.  

Scott considers that taking the evening off for himself may not have been the smartest of decisions he's ever made. He's been working like a machine non-stop since being named Pathfinder, never affording himself a moment to think or breathe. He dare not, fearing what doing so may unleash in terms of his emotions. But right now he has to be away from the _Tempest_ , the Initiative and - as much as he knows they mean well - his crew. He's fed up, and tired, and with his crew treating him as if he were ready to crumble into dust at any given moment ever since returning from their latest mission -

Suffocated is too polite a word for how Scott has grown to feel. It's bordering on claustrophobic.

The only thing he can't hide away from is SAM, but thankfully the AI seems to understand and respect the request Scott had made earlier by remaining more or less quiet. Scott knows he's still alert, working in the background and silently monitoring him as SAM always does. Scott's grown used to it by now, so doesn't worry himself so much over the presence which has become as much a part of him as any of his limbs.

"You know, as charming as Umi's company always is, I find there's a much better kind at Tartarus."

The familiar voice has Scott sitting up from where he's been hunched against the bar counter with his hands cradled around his drink. He looks to where Reyes stands close to him on his right, watching him raise a finger to Umi in silent signal for his regular drink. Reyes flashes her a roguish smile, facing Scott afterwards. The corner of Scott's lips tug upwards just barely, fighting against the heavy weight of pressure which feels as if it stretches its way throughout his entire body.

"I'm beginning to think you have a network of spies watching me whenever I'm in Kadara," Scott jokes, lifting his drink to his lips once again as he watches a flash of amusement dance pleasantly across Reyes' features.

"Or I'm just very good at tracking you down. When I know you're here, that is."

Umi slams a drink onto the counter, giving both Scott and Reyes a look before moving on to serve another customer. Scott knew the look well - Umi always appears to wear it when Reyes is around, after all - and he knows she'll certainly be checking to make sure _someone_ doesn't leave with another free drink.

Even if it means Scott will be the one paying on Reyes' behalf. Again.

"Not with any of your friends? I at least expected to see the Krogan waiting around."

Scott tries to reign in his sigh. He stares down at the counter, his attention focusing deeply on its dirty surface.

"I don't know where they are. Either back on the ship or off dealing with their own things within the port." Scott doesn't mention how he'd requested that they leave him with some space for a while, even though he expects that such a fact is shown clearly by both his hardening expression and the avoidance hinted heavily within his words.

Reyes isn't the type ignore such obvious signs. Scott knows he won't approach them head on either in the ways either Cora or Lexi are more inclined to, but rather circle around them like a cat stalking its prey, waiting for the right moment to strike.

If he were to glance at the look Reyes gives him, Scott would notice the calculating intrigue which sparks, and he'd know Reyes was already beginning to figure out the best way to sneak beneath Scott's flimsy shell of isolation.

"I was surprised to hear you and your team had returned so soon, you know," Reyes says, carefully manoeuvring the conversation away from potentially dangerous territory. Scott notes how he moves so he can lean against the bar, elbows resting on the counter behind him as he meets Scott's gaze, the familiar smirk present upon Reyes' lips for a moment before it is replaced with a put upon pout. "You made it seem like you'd be gone far longer - and to think I never even received an email of your impending arrival."

"Things were hectic," Scott explains, trying not to let his mind settle on _why_ things had been so hectic. He takes another swig of his drink. "And don't act like you weren't fully aware I was going to come back. You know I still have work to do here."

"Some warning still would have been nice. It would have given me ample time to find something fun for us to do. Or at the very least to find more people deserving of the two of us shooting them together."

"I'm sure it won't be long until something along those lines pops up while I'm here anyway. Kadara doesn’t seem to favour sleep."

Despite the poor attempt Scott makes at conversing as normal, even he could hear how _not normal_ his words fall. They sound flat and heavy, the weight of them prompting Scott to stare stubbornly ahead of him whilst his hands tighten around his drink. He can't even look at Reyes, not when he knows his face probably gives away every demon battling against him within the depths of his mind.

What he doesn't expect to hear is the sound of a quiet sigh leave Reyes' lips. Scott watches from the corner of his vision as Reyes drinks, a long moment passing before he's setting the mostly empty glass back down on the counter. He's pushing himself away from where he leans against it when Scott turns to him, and Reyes gestures his head towards the entrance.

"Let's get out of here."

Scott raises an eyebrow but otherwise doesn't question the decision. Not when Reyes is reaching for his hand, pulling him away from the bar as he slowly starts walking towards the entrance. Scott's feet move almost of their own will, following easily as Reyes weaves the both of them between the numerous gatherings of drunken visitors.

 

* * *

 

He fully expects Reyes to drag him back to the room he has at Tartarus. It's a little quieter there after all, and Reyes often has the door locked when it comes to matters which are either more financial or personal in their nature.

Reyes doesn't.

Instead Scott is led somewhere he hasn't been before, down pathways that he hasn't yet ventured during his visits to Kadara. Not that there’s been any reason to walk such paths before now, as Scott quickly learns they're moving through what appears to be the equivalent of living districts. It confuses him for a moment, until he realises that _of course_ Reyes probably has some place of residence he's taken up while he's been on this planet. Scott never really thought much about it before, but then when would he have had the chance to?

Reyes' place is small and inconspicuous, very much like most of what Scott's already familiar with in Kadara. There are only four rooms; one filled with a sofa and a selection of containers - some of the few things Reyes has likely smuggled for himself or his clients, Scott reasons - one a small area for cooking and storing food, an even smaller area Scott assumes is a restroom and a final area that is clearly a basic bedroom.

"You can sit down, if you like." Scott hears Reyes say. He looks towards where he stands, yet finds Reyes is busy taking a moment to carefully look through the blinds against one of his windows, making sure no one had followed them. Neither of them were the most popular of people on the planet, and Scott has learnt that Reyes is nothing if not careful.

"You know, this place could have come in useful the last time I was visiting," Scott says, sitting down. "We could have used that bed you have."

Scott can _hear_ the smirk that weaves its way into Reyes' words. "We could have. But you were distracted."

" _I_ was distracted?" Scott asks and ah, yes. As Reyes' turns around Scott has full view of said smirk; even with how the burning orange light of the slow setting sun stretches across his face, painting a gorgeous image with the way it dances amidst the shadows of the blinds that are closed midway within the windows.

"Alright, fine. We _both_ were distracted. Better?"

"Better."

Reyes shakes his head with faint amusement. Yet when he looks towards Scott again the smirk he wears fades, concern taking its place. As Reyes crosses his arms Scott thinks on how rarely it is he sees Reyes so visibly worried over something, and with how such a look is directed his way he finds himself shifting uncomfortably beneath it.

"What's going on?"

Scott’s first thought is to lie.

The words _I'm fine_ sit on the very tip of his tongue, almost as if they were waiting to just tumble free past his lips, but something stops him from speaking them aloud. It's oddly frustrating - those words had been so easy to say to the others whenever they asked questions like _how was he holding up_ or, _how did he feel_ ; and yet now ...

"If I said nothing, would you believe me?"

Scott already knows the answer.

"After I find you making friends with the end of a bottle on your own? No, I wouldn't." Scott deflates with the response, his shoulders loosening as if in defeat. "What's _happened,_ Scott? You’re not normally so shaken."

Scott inhales a deep breath through his nose, steadying himself. His hands start to absentmindedly fidget where they rest in his lap, fingers tapping lightly against knuckles. He leans back against the sofa - feigning a laid back ease - gaze pointedly avoiding Reyes' watchful eyes in favour of staring at a spot upon the blank wall ahead of him instead.

"What do you know of my most recent mission?"

Where he still stands Reyes uncrossed his arms, and Scott hears his footsteps as he walks closer towards him, bridging the distance between them.

"Only what everyone knows," Reyes explains, sitting beside Scott on the sofa. "That you found the Salarian Ark, and that you and your team safely returned them to the Nexus. News _does_ tend to be rather vague on the minor details, especially out here."

A tired laugh leaves Scott. He shakes his head, looking down towards his hands.

" _Minor details._ The truth is that I wasn't intending to find the Salarian Ark before I left, Reyes. Instead I was trying to infiltrate the ship belonging to the Kett Archon."

Scott senses Reyes freeze beside him. He's a little surprised he didn't already know, given Reyes' rather unique gift for gaining possession of some of the most protected high level information. But then Scott had not told him anything much of the mission before leaving, only that it was of the highest priority. Apparently, that meant priority high enough that even Evfra was keeping silent.

"Things were ... bad doesn't even begin to put it into words. The Kett had the Ark, had it tethered to the Archons' ship. We found a way in and soon discovered they were _testing_ Salarians. The Kett were torturing them, taking them apart like they were simple lab rats just to see how they were put together, attempting to figure out what makes them what they are. We saved as many as we could from following that fate but … not everyone could be saved. I still can’t get the images of what we saw out of my _head_.”

Scott drops his head into his heads, fingers pushing through small strands of hair as he once again tries to block out the sudden rush of images of what they'd uncovered on the ship. Already they manage to haunt what little sleep he manages to find these days, and with how tired he often feels sometimes they even manage to blur into reality whenever he briefly closes his eyes. It both baffles and scares Scott, a man who has been trained in war and the brutality that can come of it, who has seen victims of torture before and not been so affected.

Perhaps it hits him on a deeper level because this time, it _feels_ bigger somehow. Facing a new race they know nothing about, a race which attacked them on the day of their first arrival into Heleus, and of which they all have little knowledge as to their true intentions; such scale of monstrosity leaves only fear in its wake.

"I've heard stories of what the Kett can do," says Reyes, voice unusually gentle. "Those alone are enough to shake a person. Seeing it first hand ... I can only imagine how much worse it was."

"Yeah, well. It probably doesn't help that I very nearly ended up becoming a fresh new science experiment for them too."

"What?"

Reyes' tone fills with ice, a fear nesting deep with what Scott reveals. Scott however doesn't think to regret the open honesty of how he speaks, despite never being this open and vulnerable to someone that wasn't Sara before. If his thoughts weren't already swimming, Scott may have been scared at how easy it seems to be to speak with Reyes this way.

"The Archon set a trap for us. One that we all quite literally walked right into," Explains Scott. "My team and I got caught in some kind of immobilisation field he’d prepared. If I didn't have SAM with me we wouldn’t have made it out."

"Why, specifically, SAM? What did he do? How _did_ you get out?"

Reyes' questions are met with silence. Scott feels the tug of tension settling between them, thick enough that it could be cut with a knife. He gathers Reyes picks up on it too, given the way his brow creases.

"Scott..." says Reyes and, shit, the warning in his tone radiates violently within Scott.

 _"Mr Vidal. The field had only one reset point. In order to escape, there had to be no living matter for it to contain. Given my connection to Ryder's physiology, I was able to devise a method to free him, thus allowing him to free others._ "

"SAM -" Scott begins to say, glaring towards the voice now coming from his omni-tool.

"He stopped your heart. SAM - You ... did SAM _kill_ you?"

At Reyes' interruption Scott closes his eyes, letting out a tired breath. It's confirmation enough, and even if it weren’t SAM's response certainly verifies things.

_"In a manner of speaking, yes. For ninety-seven seconds, Scott remained clinically deceased until my resuscitation attempts were successful."_

Reyes rises to his feet, stepping away from the sofa.

With his eyes still remaining closed Scott listens to the sound of pacing, and not for the first time does he feel how his stomach seems to sink. A large part of him hadn't even wanted Reyes to know he’d died, not if it meant he would react this way - not if he’d react like his crew had. But a smaller part of himself...

… A smaller part did want Reyes to know. The same part of himself which desires for there to be no secrets between the two of them, even if Scott continues to grow ever more convinced that Reyes is tangled up in Kadara's web of affairs in a much greater way than he truly alludes to.

"What the _fuck,_ Scott."

Scott slowly looks towards where Reyes has stopped his pacing, noticing how he know stands with a hand pressed against his forehead. He doesn't really know what he should say - after all, how does anyone respond to an AI's very abrupt way of revealing you'd died and then came back to life?

"It was the only option I had."

" _Bullshit,_ " Reyes fires back, a venom in his words that surprises Scott. As he shoots a glare his way Scott's shocked by the pure _devastation_ shining across Reyes' features, a physical kind of pain that leaves Scott feeling as if someone's squeezing his insides. "That's _bullshit_.  _Anything_ is a better option than dying. What if SAM hadn't been successful in bringing you back?"

“There _wasn’t_ another option Reyes. You heard SAM, the field only responded to living matter. Besides, if I was going to die on that ship it was going to be on my own terms, not through torture or as part of some sick experimentation shit the Kett had planned.”

“You should have had a backup plan! One that _doesn’t_ include dying. You should have contacted someone -”

“ _How?_ ” Asks Scott. “I couldn’t move, couldn’t even reach for my omni-tool. I had a biological transmitter injected in me that needed to be neutralised. There was a lot on the line -”

"And you're too important to just loose. You _know_ that."

Scott does nothing to stop the snort that leaves him. He stares down at his hands once more.

"I'm not _that_ important in the grand scheme of things. If I die SAM gets passed on to someone else, and they're a lot more qualified than I am. I took what I thought was the best option at the time, and although it’s not been a popular decision, it’s happened. Maybe it was wrong, or foolish, but what does it matter? I’m still here, aren’t I?"

The last thing Scott expects after a long beat of silence between them is to feel the tired fabric of Reyes' gloves lightly touch his chin. With gentle guidance Reyes pulls Scott's gaze away from his hands to instead meet his eyes. Tired exhaustion meets the deep sadness visible in Reyes' expression, the anger from learning of Scott's actions still burning beneath it.

"I wasn't talking about your importance to the Initiative, Scott," says Reyes, a gentleness finding home in his tone again. His fingers trace a path up to Scott's cheek, hand finally resting there, a source of warmth that fills Scott, causing something painful to sting his heart.

"You mean more than just your title. More than you realise."

No one has ever looked at him the way Reyes is currently looking at him. Scott realises that Reyes is the first person since the day he woke in Andromeda that has said he holds purpose and importance outside of being the human Pathfinder. His crew cares, a fact Scott knows well - he cares and values each and every one of them just as equally in return - but actually _hearing_ such words spoken aloud cause something tight deep within his chest to slowly unwind.

Scott doesn't realise he's crying until the first tear escapes him, slowly falling prettily down his cheek.

For the first time since being pulled out of cryo and thrown headfirst into a dangerous new life, Scott's emotions have finally managed to break free from the barrier he had so careful constructed to shield them behind.

"I did what I had to do," He says. "I'm sorry if that scares you but ... I can't afford to be selfish and think only for myself in those situations. That's why I have SAM, and I trust his judgement. Even if it means making difficult decisions."

Reyes doesn't speak. Instead Scott feels strong arms wrap around him, and it's only then he realises that he's shaking, his tears having grown heavier. He leans into the warmth that is offered, lifting his own arms and wrapping them around Reyes, grasping tightly into the fabric of Reyes' clothes as if he were the only thing anchoring him to this world. Scott buries his head into Reyes' neck as his emotions fully hit him, overwhelming him like a ferocious wave overwhelms the shore.

For a long while Reyes only holds him, quietly murmuring sweet, calming words into Scott's hair.

It's as much of a reassurance for Scott as it is for himself.

 

* * *

   
Eventually, Scott tells Reyes everything.

He tells him of what happened after he came back from the dead and how there hadn't really been a moment to stop and think. He tells him of the Krogans they manage to save, as well as the regret Scott still carries within himself from not being able to save the Salarian Pathfinder too. He tells him of Lexi's anger towards both him and SAM, and how she had checked him over and corrected his irregular heart rate; a side effect of the AI's quickly put together plan.

He ends by telling him of his crew's reactions, and how he feels as if they look at him as something breakable since. Reyes assures him it's just because they're worried about him, and that if it really bothers Scott then he needs to tell them that it does, rather than leaving the subject untouched in favour of avoiding it.

And isn't that exactly what Scott's been doing? Ignoring what had happened in favour of burying it away so he doesn't have to deal with this inevitable aftermath?

By the time the two of them have talked Scott feels exhausted - emotionally so. Yet he does feel somewhat better, lighter, however slight the change is. He knows that Reyes still isn't content with what he's learnt, but he also appears calmer; the fear and shock no longer ruling his mind.

Scott agrees to stay with Reyes for the night when Reyes asks. He isn’t sure if his decision is based more upon his own reluctance to leave or because of the hopeful look Reyes wears when asking, but Scott thinks they both wish for the comfort and reassurance of the other being close by that evening.

While Reyes searches for some bottles of water for them Scott retreats to the bedroom. The bed itself is nowhere near as comfortable as the one in his quarters back on Tempest but Scott doesn’t care; he’s so worn out that the feel of a mattress beneath his back is inviting enough. He breathes deeply, briefly closing his eyes just to relish the brief moment of reprieve from his duties. A beat of quiet passes, then another, and Scott opens his eyes once more as he speaks to SAM.

“SAM could you make sure to send a message back to the Tempest? Let them know I won’t be back until the morning.”

_"Of course. Shall I inform them that you are currently with Mr. Vidal?"_

"That would probably be for the best. Tell them I’ll meet them at Reyes’ room at Tartarus. If Vetra or Drack bring my armour with them we’ll take a look at the last of the monoliths out in the Badlands. It’s about time we find and crack open the vault on this planet.”

_"I shall pass the message over. May I say something, Pathfinder?”_

"Nothing usually stops you from doing so,” Scott says, letting out a heavy breath which gently blows the hair that has fallen out of place against forehead. “What is it?”

_“I am inclined to agree with the advice Mr. Vidal has given you. Rather than isolating yourself from your crew after the events which have transpired, it would be much more beneficial to include them in understanding the concerns and feelings you have. While relying on Mr. Vidal has proven helpful, he is not always able to remain by your side. The members of your crew, however, are. From my understanding, bonds are only able to grow and strengthen by trust on equal sides. Your friends wish for you to trust them, Scott. As they trust you.”_

Scott laughs to himself. _Great,_ he thinks. _Now even the AI is scolding me._

“I know SAM. I’m already planning on talking to them.”

_“I am also partly at fault for causing such upset within your team. While I do not regret saving you, I am aware that the way in which I aimed to attain that safety has shaken many. I remain certain that it was the only available option. If there had been a more preferable method, I would not have resorted to such desperate measures.”_

“I know, SAM,” Scott repeats, gentler this time. “We screwed up, but at least I get to stick around to keep screwing up. That’s all that matters.”

_“You are doing well, Scott. You have not been 'screwing up’, and I am programmed to offer aid in difficult circumstances.”_

The response prompts the corner of Scott’s lips to curl in a small smile. He rolls onto his side, pulling the thin cover over himself. His muscles ache something fierce; sleep having been next to non-existent since the last mission, the rare moments in which he has managed to catch an hour or two filled with either restlessness or all too familiar nightmares. He doesn't know if sleeping somewhere away from his quarters will help in any way, Especially knowing fully well that he's sleeping in Reyes' bed.

Eventually Scott feels the other side of the bed dip, and he looks over his shoulder to find Reyes watching him. Reyes holds out on the bottle of waters he’s found towards Scott, who takes it gratefully.

“Are you going to be alright?” Reyes asks as Scott moves to sit up. Scott opens the bottle, taking a drink before replying.

“I think so. Or, I will be at least, now that I’ve actually talked to someone,” Scott pauses, looking towards where his hands hold the bottle. “I’d usually talk to my sister, but that’s ... a little difficult to do right now. Talking to you is … similar to when I talk to her."

It feels familiar, safe. Scott leaves those words unsaid, instead meeting Reyes’ gaze and attempting to grin at him.

"You both seem to like calling me out on my bullshit."

"Because you need to be called out. Only sometimes though, of course," Reyes offers him a small smile in return, although after their talk it doesn't quite meet his eyes, a flicker of remaining sadness halting its efforts. “I get it, you know. Your work is dangerous. Every day is a risk, and there’s always a chance you might not make it. It comes with the role. But … try not to make things more difficult for yourself, Scott. You work the impossible enough as it is.”

Scott sits the water to one side of the bed, afterwards moving closer towards Reyes. As he does Reyes pulls him towards him, warm hands wrapping around his middle. Scott leans into the embrace easily, welcoming the comfort as it cocoons around him. Reyes’ lips press against the side of his forehead firmly, holding there for a moment as fear filled words are breathed against his skin.

“Promise me you and SAM won’t plan to surprise everyone with more heroic sacrifices for a little while. The thought of you … of you being gone and me not knowing? Of having to learn about it through a delayed news relay, or by reading stolen reports?”

It’s a promise they both know Scott can’t keep. His search for Meridian - whatever it is - draws him closer to danger every day, and none of them know what’s waiting for them next. He can’t speak the words; can’t make a promise that could be broken by powers far out of his control.

So instead, as Reyes buries his face into the crook of Scott’s neck, Scott reaches to hold one of his hands, squeezing it in a way which he hopes is reassuring.  

"I'm still here Reyes."

Scott feels Reyes shift as he presses another kiss beneath his jaw.

Later, when Scott attempts to find what he hopes is a somewhat calming sleep with Reyes curled around him, he's aware of how Reyes keeps a warm hand pressed over the space of where his heart sits, likely feeling the rhythm of the beat it still sings.


End file.
